| hope |
[29 Aug 2007|09:38pm] |
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i hope, hope, hope
sometimes i find hope
sometimes i lose hope
sometimes i search for hope
sometimes i dont like hope
sometimes i believe in hope
and othertimes my love , i just....
i hope hope hope
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| thoughts |
[24 Jan 2006|12:42am] |
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i hope that the time soon will come... when i will be able to say i am content with everthing that has happened in the past, has been happening,and probably is going to happen, because i will be able to see why aspects of life have worked them selves out in unlikely,sometimes disappointing, heartbreaking and yet peculiar ways.
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| opposites attract---billiemyers |
[31 Mar 2005|01:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
WE ARE
PERFECTLY FLAWED STRANGELY FAMILIAR
LIBERALLY SELFISH CLEARLY CONFUSED
IMPURDENTLY MODEST ELEGANTLY WASTED
HELPLESSLY PROTECTIVE ODDLY EVEN
PROFANELY BLESSED OUTDATEDLY MODERN
BRIDGING THE DIVIDE
YOUTHFULLY MATURE SAFELY INSECURE
CALMY ANXIOUS INTIMATELY EXPOSED
UNSELFISHLY POSSESSIVE STUPIDLY CLEVER
DANGEROUSLY HARMLESS DIFFERENTLY SIMILAR CAUTIOUSLY MADCAP SENSIBLY LIGHT HEADED IRRATIONALLY SANE DIFFERENT TWINS
BUT INVARIABLY ALWAYS US
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| and so it goes |
[19 Mar 2005|01:07pm] |
Now, I do as I please
and lie through my teeth
Someone might get hurt,
but it won't be me
I should probably feel cheap
but I just feel free...
and a little bit empty
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| oh man oh man |
[22 Feb 2005|11:29am] |
Hey Lori!!
I will have a class second week in May. If you don't make the one at school
don't worry. I wrote your friend an email and look forward to meeting you
both in May. Any questions don't hesitate.
Thanks,
Lisa
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| leavin town =) |
[22 Feb 2005|10:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
we could live beside the ocean |
] |
Lori,
I have added your name along with Beths to our hired list.
It is with great pleasure that I am able to offer you a position as Ocean
Lifeguard for North Strand Beach Service. If you have any certifications
you will need to fax them to us at 843-272-3538. If you need to take the Red
Cross
Certification class we will offer it in mid May and I will get back with you
on the exact date. We are now working on housing arrangements and we will
email you information on deposit, amount, etc..
We are very pleased to have you on our team and are sure that you will make
a superb addition to our company. This being a public safety job, we will
need to know immediately if you are not coming.
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| the power of good bye |
[16 Feb 2005|02:43am] |
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isnt it weird how a heart can hurt
beat the same discrimination
through out your viens
and
out your eyes
night after night
how you have to type to
keep your hands off your neck
and how easily starvation
equals salvation
a pain unknown to others
but to well known to many
think about it... everyone who is reading this..
relief
when you hurt so bad a rainy day is a relief, maybe its because it is your rainy day....when your mad because it is raining...you should be happy because someone is letting lose of their twisted emotions paving the way for the next runaway rainy day
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[15 Feb 2005|12:16am] |
and there she goes again
Another masquerade in false circumstance
She'll fuck you just for the taste
I just wish I could ((replace)) all the memories
Of what makes my blood run cold
And as your blood flows through me
I say goodbye to what we had
Maybe we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon. A happiness weapon. A beauty bomb. And every time a crisis developed, we would launch one. It would explode high in the air - explode softly - and send thousands, millions, of little parachutes into the air. Floating down to earth - boxes of Crayolas. And we wouldn't go cheap, either - not little boxes of eight. Boxes of sixty-four, with the sharpener built right in. With silver and gold and copper, magenta and peach and lime, amber and umber and all the rest. And people would smile and get a little funny look on their faces and cover the world with imagination.
--Robert Fulghum
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| blank |
[14 Feb 2005|02:10am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blank |
] |
Ive never been the type to ever let my feelings show
and I thought that being strong ment never loosing my self control
but im just drunk enough to let go of me pain
to hell with my pride
let it fall like rain from my eyes
tonight I want to cry
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| life.. and such |
[23 Jan 2005|03:19am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 scared |
] |
well this is my 3rd week in kent... i love it... boy to i love it.. im fortunent to have such good friends... seriously i want to thank jared and adam for taking me under their wing and trying to make me have such a good time.. ahha and trying to introduce me to thier "hunky friends"... really i dont kno what i would do if they werent here...its a good feeling to knwo that thay will always call to see how i am feeling in the morning or jsut to see how my day is going.. ahahm and knowing they will make me laugh it off
but in other words.. god do i miss my friends.. i actually choose not to think about it alot because it makes me want to hurl... and thats just not metephorically... those nights.. i should be there... but life doesnt always work out that way... oh and i miss them so much.. and i know the easy solution would be to go back to bg for the weekend or nite or what not.. but i cant.. i dont want to go back... cause this i will never want to leave. i need to start a new life before i go back.. or i will be a wreck. which isnt saying much.. because thats the way i left it...but man... i only hope that this isthe right path for me.. so far so good.. but its at night... before going to bed.. that i jsut want to see u guys... paul i know this sounds dumb.. but in dawsons creek the other day ther was a flash back of dawson and joey running in to each other 6 years later.. and it made me think.. i dont want to just run in to you.. they were so akward and what not.. dude i cant not talk to u for that long. and i never can imagine cluless about one another.. i dont knwow .. just that would suck
mancino land... oh man.. a good hour of tears in itself... i just miss everyone.. and i miss ktbug and heather.. oh would i would do if i didnt have u guys... haha i hope we pick up how we left off... i miss u guys so much and i just want to say thank u for being such good friends to me , never liked a job that much in my life.. peole are sick of me talking about it down here... enjoy it.. bunch of cool ass people.. now i wotk and make copies with old people.. not fun.. well i love u guys.. and i hope ill see u soon\
happy and sad.. well hopefully ill figure it out soon
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[20 Jan 2005|05:06pm] |
 | You scored as Mushrooms. Shrooms! You're still goin for one of the most natural drugs. You'd like to visit a whole other world, and see things you've never seen before. Fucking trippy.
Mushrooms | | 88% | Marijuana | | 81% | Inhalents | | 63% | Alcohol | | 50% | Ecstacy | | 50% | None! | | 50% | Cocaine | | 31% | </td>
What's your ideal drug?
created with QuizFarm.com |
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[20 Jan 2005|12:13am] |
i realized that life was not a test
in which we passed or failed
but it's more like a gigantic ocean
just waiting to be sailed
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| turn |
[20 Jan 2005|12:04am] |
When im all alone
in the great unknown
ill remember you..
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| sigh |
[24 Dec 2004|11:05pm] |
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christmas eve.. and im irritated at every one and everything.. i dont wanna see any more people and i just want tommorrow to be over. Christmas to my family is just way to hyped up and everyone ends up losing in the end... dads getson his cleaning kick on christmas eve and starts organizing.. mom gets mad casue she doesnt want to go to dads family.. then dad gets mad.. we go to dads family and everyone get mad at eachother or gets in a fight.. we go home.. dad stays... then the next day get all the presents that nobody canafford. go to moms family which is bound to be fun because my aunt sue is pissed off at me. i wish there was still a santa clause and there was nonr of the bullshit clouding christmas time and that everyone would just chill the fuck out and take a moment to appreicite the things and life we have instead of trying to make it better or happier. UUURRRGGG i just go to bed and wake up on sunday.. and i fucking hate feeling like the grinch cause i want christmas time to be so happy .. oh boo
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| lucky ones |
[29 Nov 2004|12:53am] |
"the first time we made love.. i .. i wasnt sober. and you told me you loved me...over and over... ...how can i ever love another.. i miss you every day..how can i ever get over you... when id give my life for yours."
***i know we are, we are the lucky ones***
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| stuff |
[25 Nov 2004|10:50am] |
i dont fit into this life as well as i used too,
i keep stumbling upon missing peices.
the peices that used to be perfect.
none of these faces look familiar anymore,
all the faces i grew up to are so lost.
im searching for something,
but i cant find my place in line.
the surroundings i was so comfertable with,
are now the ones i feal so alone in.
the thoughtfull secrets rearanged
into hurtfull lies.
everything i thought was right,
is so far away from me now .
backs are turned every way i look,
where i found happiness i find sadness.
the story has changed,
the words fell apart,
they rearanged tehmselves,
into broken sentences of my heart.
we just have to get up, and keep walking. because as much as we’d like it to be true, this isn’t a movie or any of that crap. in real life you get yourself up and brush yourself off. and life goes on without the people you wanted to take with you. and it sucks
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| editoral i wrote to the beacon journal.... let me know what you think or what i should change |
[11 Oct 2004|04:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
confused |
] |
Contrary to what Mr. Needs and most others who read the Akron Beacon Journal believe, young people DO read the news and, just like all of you whom write editorials in this section, our generation is very passionate about the current state of our country. I can no longer sit back and listen to the “newspaper reading” generation bicker like children without trying to wriggle in a nineteen year olds opinion.
Many of you say that Kerry’s phrase, “Wrong war”, is not the message to send to our troops whom are fighting over in Iraq. Do our troops get denied the right to know the truth, that there were no WMD’s or absolutely no connection to 9/11 or al- Qaeda? Just because it is a “wrong war” does not mean that we do not support our troops. What that phrase means is that we want our troops to come back home! There are people my age dying out there everyday. Ok MY friends. This war is also costing money. It doesn’t come for free. But not to worry, it can just be charged to my generation and those to come.
Not to drag this on, but I must get my opinion out on one more crucial topic, gay marriage. It seems that many of you are opposed to the idea of homosexuals receiving the benefits of a civil union because, heaven forbid, it would ruin the “sanctity” of marriage. Is this really going to affect your marriage that much? Is your marriage going to be an unstable one, and is the divorce rate going to rise just because two homosexuals are happy together. If so, then maybe you should recheck your marriage. Lori Viar’s stated that Issue 1 is “critical to the well being or our children” and the family. So your children, and one day my children, are going to be better off living in a society that discrimites, punishes, and denies rights to those who are “different” from you? Maybe people should stop and think that maybe our society and children would be better off with out narrow- minded judgmental people. Open your eyes, everybody is different, that’s what makes this world such a beautiful place to live in. Teachers, adults, and guidance counselors preach this during adolescent years. Now you’re trying to tell me that you can define love, and since this group of people is different, then they must not know what love is? Love has no boundaries. Now come on “children”, in the words of my first grade teacher, “we must embrace our differences” and not shun them and block them out. It makes me sad, I guess I just wish that everybody could see that it is a miracle that we were all created different, but in the end we all strive for the same thing, happiness. So smile and live your life, and have faith that can all live together in harmony with out having to shut others out.
Ok am I done ranting now, I just want to apologize if I offended anyone in this editorial, I respect everyone’s opinion and I hope that you will respect mine.
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| Woman who stopped to ask way put on path to future husband. Wedding Today |
[02 Oct 2004|12:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
vindicated |
] |
I saw you, feelings of lust came back along with feelings of insecurity.
It seems that Im so close but never the complete package. every time in life it is I always manage to overcome distractions by finding another one. you need to know that i will be the simple one, the one with geniune one, the one that will see you for everything that you see in yourself. I dont know what I am supposed to be. I can do it all. I can be it all, the out going one, the party animal, the quiet one, the shy one, the deep one. Let me know, cause honestly I dont know. Every time I think that Im close to being the person I wanna stick with in this life, someone or something points me in a different direction. Its wearing me out cause I can not find a happy medium. Shouldnt' i have figured this out a long time ago? I mean Im past highschool, im past the self discovery stage. I don tknow why I put myself up against some obstacles to. Like matt for example, ha i was smart not to advance to that heart break. so ill just move one to the next one to take my mind off it. haha i swear theres a chain of people. all the guys ive liked ive only liked to as a way to move on from the previous one. i dont know what that means. Alls i know is that I have cried to many tears for a 19 year old girl.
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[21 Sep 2004|06:24pm] |
will someone please explain to me why the hell i was born in the state of ohio.... was god tryin to make me an outcast orjust overcasted?
in my next life i hope im jamacian
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| bla |
[19 Sep 2004|03:20pm] |
Looking at herself but wishing she was someone else
Because the body of the doll it don't look like hers at all
So she straps it on, she sucks it in, she throws it up, and gives a grin
Laughing at herself because she knows she ain't that at all
All caught up in the trends
Well the truth began to bend
And the next thing you KNOW, man
There just ain't no truth left at all
---j. johnson
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